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==== Rumli D'Gorah ====

Tha stery of Rumli D’Gorah, Elite Greyguard, Army of Laduguer, Gracklstugh Division listed in several parts. Pull yerself oop a tankard o’ D’Gorah’s Finest n’ a wee sample of Roast Beast n’ enjoy....

All bits be troo, but some parts been embellished a tetch ter make fer a mer intersectin’ yarn... ;)

**It was a Gud first Dae**

[The scene: A small tavern just outside the Halls of Laduguer, Underdark. The sounds of laughter and merriment mix with the clink of glasses and the clack of knives on pewter plates. The door kicks open, and closes back again with a slam. The door re-opens revealing a stout, young duergar male rubbing his head. He is dressed head to toe in silly, shirumund pointy leather gear only made bearable by several arrow holes, soot, & dirt.. Smoke seems to be rising from his body. His axe is rested over his right shoulder & he seems to be dragging something with his left hand...]

“Come along then, Murin,” he says to the ‘item,’ “It was a gud dae tadae! Now we celebrate!”

The duergar drags the bloody pulp that was ‘Murin’ into the bar and props him up on a stool.

“Wattaye starin at then? Ee’s aight... just a bit stunned. Aintcha, Murin?”

Murin does not respond.

“Oi... Ee’ll be bettah once ee gitz some grog ‘nta him. Waitress! A bucket a yer finest stout ‘n’ a platter a wilderbeast fer me and me pally ‘ere! Rumli needsta celebrate his first battle in deese caverns!”

The waitress nods and brings Rumli’s order off to the kitchen.

“Ah... it twas a gud dae, Murin. Glad tae be called up from the deepest caverns tae perform in tha service of tha Great Laduguer ‘Imself. Me pappy and mammy am so proud. So many years .. ay! wake up lad,” Rumli says to the slumping Murin. He slaps Murin on the cheeks trying to revive him. He does not respond.

“Bah! Worn out are ye then? Heh... I dinna blame ye. Twas an active first day oot and aboot, no? First, I had me a tour of these great halls by a fine lass... Sabrak D’Gorah. A fine woman... stout, strong, and a hint o’ a beard. Jest my style. Great strength in them airms o hers, I kin tell.

“I broke fer a meal here in dis pub and while I finished up me beast, some prissy pixie voice popped in me head. I taught tha ale been tampered with n I were hall-loosin-atin, but the voice kept a persistin. Said I were ta meet it in tha Halls. Packed up me gears and trolloped out tha door.

“I couldna believe wat I sawr... A duergar, fine lad. But he practiced them sissy magix! All that twittery and pokery and poem recitin! Kin ya believe it, Murin?”

Murin slumps.

“I knowit. Depressin, eh? Olhalaur was his name. Wall... he turned oot ta be alright. Ees a cousin a mine. Aint his fault tha he takes up the cats craddle and the knittin instead a the blade. Took me on me first hunt inta the sewers. Ya know,” whispers Rumli to Murin, “I was a lil impressed by all the hokity pokity. I guess I scared ‘im off with me skills with tha axe ‘n’ tha pebble shooter. Ee hadda leave soon after. Preciate ‘is help tho.

“Ah, then tha fun started, didna it, Murin! We trecked oot thru tha front gate inta the ‘big scary oonderdark’,” he says mockingly, “Ah! yer blade did sing down der - thru the skull a kobolds the flesh o rabid bats n even a bear or two. I think I passed on once or twice in der, but the Great Laduguer must have some big plans fer me... woke me oop from tha deep sleep! Them caverns are bootiful... nice, sublte glow tae the space n all full a rocks ta clink and clack and scoop their riches from. Right nice place.”

The waitress delivers a large beast to the table complete with all the fixins and two large pails of the finest stout in the lands! Rumli greedily rips into the beast and slops down his bucket in several deep gulps.

“Burpppppptttttt,” belches Rumli, “Say, lad, ye aint gonna be attendin tae yer grog then?”

Murin slumps further and falls to the floor.

“Aight... so be it. Ye doan mind, do ye?”

Rumli slogs down the other bucket and another large leg off the beast.

“Haha!!!! Aye! IT WAS A GOOD DAE,” he shouts, “Nuddah round a ale! hah hah!!!!”

----

**Tha 3rd, 4th ‘n’ 5th Braids be tha best....**

[Tha door tae tha Rouge’s Inn outside of Gracklstugh kicks open. Out pours a gregarious n right sloppy drunk duergar warrior in his dress clothes. He has a pewter ale stein grasped in one hand ‘n’ a leg-o-beast grasped in tha other. He stoombles down tha stairs singin an a shoutin’. At the base of the stairs he runs inta an ol friend...]

“Mooooooooorrrriinnn!!! Har har!! It be me, Murin! Yer ol’pally... Rumli! Yar yar... Tha be the one,” he shouts in Murins ear while he bear hugs tha poor lout. There is a look a fear on Murin’s mug. He ain’t been havin’ tha best a luck with this Rumli as of late.

“Har har!!! I see tha doc put ya all back tagether, eh? Har har! Sorry ta leave ya down and out in the sewers after tha skelly done knocked ya out wit his wiggity business. Offered me help, but *burpt* scuse me... But, ya dinnae seem ta be wantin me helpin hand.”

Rumli bear hugs the hapless Murin again. He silently lets out a grunt.

“Yar yar... we had quite a rumble dis weekend dinna we, Murin,” shouts Rumli proudly, “Wha wit you and me wanderin aboot tha Duergar caves outsida de city limits. Who let them baby lizzies out thar anywho? Bleedin kobolds! Well... they wuz no challenge fer me axe n yer blade, eh lad? *hic* Say... didna we roon about wit tha lass who dinna use a proper axe or hammery bits?”

Murin nods...

“Ya. Cousin Sabrak, no? Ya... we went tae investigate tha plague o gobbies in tha mines. Har har... Sent me oop tae meet me maker they did. Not onna me proudest moments. Thar be a real finge....”

Rumli stopped mid sentence as a bit o spoiled meet were tossed at him...

“Let tha be a warnin tae ye,” shouted the hairless, BEARDLESS Gracklstugh guard, “We will nae be havin nae spoilers reported in pooblik!”

“Yar yar... ye joost be gittin back tae yer post then, ya beardless freak a nature, you,” shouts back Rumli, “I kinna believe tha Cap’n be wantin tae hire sooch furless guards... We been hangin oot wit them Dark Pixies to long...”

Rumli pauses, “Ah, but ye... yer ok in me book, Murin,” he says as he pats the bald and beardless Murin on the back, “It a genetic thing wit ya, no? There there...

“Where were I... ah! Ya tha gobbies. Bah. Sent me up tae Vallhalla fer a bit. Nearly took Sabrak, too. She be a bit lighter on her feet what wit nae carryin an axe or what have ya. We went out tae the Oonderdark after tha. Memeber? Ya. Earned me third braid somewhere’s along tha way. Ye, on the oother hand, went an got yerself whacked along tha way. har har!

“‘Dinnae roon too far ahead’, I warned ya. Did ye lissen? NAE! Har har!!! Powie! Right inta the mits o some wackity kobold shaman spelly. Ya wuz cooked right tae the bone when we caught oop wit ya! Har har!

“Well, the shock of it were enough tae send Sabrak back tae home. She be all disturbed by it. Twas not a purty sight.

“Well, I went back n’ found ya grovelin at tha Cap’n feets. Hired ya again an we went out fer revenge. Ran inta another cousin along tha way. Member? Dalamar was ‘is name. Another onna dem finger wigglers. Bah *ptui* well, we visited fer a bit and made nice, but all tha sparks and tha poetry made me all wiggly in tha stoomich so’s we bid our g’daes and struck off inta them caverns.

“Then ye led them minnie right fer me. I told ye! YA GOT TAE WAIT OOP FER ME LAD! Bah... *ptui* but no hard feelins... Yer alright lad. Its genetic, ain’t it? Laduger fit me head back on.

“Tha Dalamar lad called me oop with his magicty rocks after tha. Said he was runnin about in tha sewers an if we wanted tae join. Ya. I was game fer a lil sport. Earned me ... wha was it... me fourth braid down der, I thinks. Ya, dats right. Ya know, I was happy ta see me cousin who is a confessed finger wiggler stickin tae his bows an arrows. Sure, tha be a bit silly, but even tha best duergar needs tae attack from afar... Ya could learn a ting or two! Har har!

“Oh, and Murin! Ya shoulda been around lass night! Yar! Speakin o finger wigglers... I traveled with Cousin Olhalaur an dis dark pixie tha sounded like cousin Col, but was nae. They took me ta this far off island populated wit somma da biggest minnies I did ever see! Ya... Tha were a blast. But, ya know, they kept a blastin me wit all manners a hocus and pocus. Lit me oop like a stary night they did.

“But, lad, ya shoulda seen dem in battle! Tha pixie cousin wit dis lil ‘lectirc back scratcher a his... And cousin Ol’ tossed this ... now, don’t ya go an tell anyone dis... but I right liked his hokity pokity tha grabbed the baddies wit a big green hand. Held em right tight while tha pixie an I whacked em all proper like! Right nice! Tha oother lad, he had dis bit where tha ground exploded wit swords and axes and oother pokity bits. Also right proper! Ya woan tell anyone, willya?”

Murin cringes and shakes his head no.

“Ah good. Well, somewheres along tha way, I passed out. Prolly froom all tha excitement. When I came too, Cousin Ol’ was standin o’er me tellin me we gotta git outta there. We commenced tae beatin feet outta there, whackin minnies n bears n tiggers n varmits all along the way. Few words along tha way... just soom good team work. Tha were a blast!

Rumli proubly shows his newest braid... “I be proudest a dis one, me 5th braid... n tha best so far! Tha tie is leather from a minnie,” he winks.

“Excuse me sir... ye will need tae be moovin along. Yer makin a bit of a scene here. Ya be oopsettin tha kiddies,” says a Guard to Rumli.

“Ya ya... I be gittin outta here ya shirumund git! Bah... coom along Murin. Less see wha kinna treatment we kin get fer yer chrome dome. Maybe tha Olly hae some manner a hocus pocus tae fix ya oop!”

Rumli stumlbes off fer tha Halls of Laduguer.

Murin sneaks away, silently, in tha other direction.

----

**Rumli & Murin**

A lone Duergar rises from a puff of smoke in the Great Halls of Laduguer. He brushes the dust off of his dress garb and waives the smoke away.

The duergar slowly approaches the man standing in front of him - the Captain of the Guard. They exchange pleasantries and gold to hire a mercenary. The Captain nods and whistles over to his assistant to fetch a warrior.

Out from the barracks comes a stout young lad. The lone Duergar smiles, salutes and approaches the lad, hand outstretched....

“Coom along then, Moorin... today is our big dae,” says the Duergar, Rumil, in his thick accent.

Murin follows Rumli back to his boarding house. Inside, Rumli gathers his axe, shield and bow. He dons his armor, gauntlets, boots and helmet. He pats Murin on the back and says...

“Coom along, lad. Lets rid tha Duergar Caverns a dem kobolds.”

Murin silently nods in approval.

Rumli and Murin charge out of the Boarding Home and run down the Great Hall screaming and shouting all along the way. Their blades are drawn and ready for battle.

When they reach the gates to the Underdark, Rumli kicks open the door. Murin charges ahead into the dark cavern. With four mighty swings of his sword, Murin sends four kobolds away from the Caverns and back to their Maker.

Murin presses forward through the caverns and Rumli charges on behind him. All along the way, Rumli and Murin dispatch the invading and univited masses of kobolds, minotaurs, bugbears and their summons seeking to steal the riches that are rightfully the property of the Proud Citizens of Gracklstugh and the Halls of Ladguer - the rocks and veins rich in precious metal and gems. The life blood of the Duergar. No enemy left the caverns alive this day. The is no mercy.

Rumli stands covered head to toe in dust and the blood of his enemies. He looks to Murin and motions with his head back toward the City. Murin nods back with a toothy grin. Rumli shouts and runs back to the City Gates.

The two run down the hall and into the upper sewers below the Hall of Laduguer. More kobolds fall to their blades. How dare these beasts enter their Halls!

Rumli and Murin march through the exit of the sewers dragging the carcass of the kobold tribe’s shamans and motion to the guards to clean up the mess. They then run off to the Hall of Council in Gracklstugh. There is trouble in the sewers below the great city! The pair encounter a plague of undead beneath the City and dispatch them swiftly.

They next move on to investigate trouble beneath the Mines in Gracklstugh. Goblins! Will these beasts never learn not to mess with what is rightfully the Duergar’s?

The battle that ensues nearly finishes the pair off. The goblin forces were strong and many. Their leader was powerful. The battle was long, but Rumli and Murin eventually prevailed. Rumli took the leader’s head as a momento.

“Coom, Murin,” Rumli says, “Now we be oof tae our biggest test. We be off tae tha Rebel Giant Camp. This be our biggest test as a team.”

Rumli and Murin salute each other and cross their weapons. They shout proud battle chant and rush from the Mines, across the Rock Giant Village, into the Rebel Giant camp.

They are immediately ambushed by four mighty Giants. The giants’ clubs reign down mightily on the heroes. Murin’s sword and Rumli’s axe cut deep into the giants’ flesh. One beast falls swiftly. Then, tragedy strikes.

Murin did not see the giant behind him. With a mighty blow, the club came straight down on his un-helmeted head. Rumli paused in battle screaming...

“Naeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Murin crumpled to the ground. He was dead from the blow.

“Naeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,” screamed Rumli as he rushed to Murin’s aid. Rumli was swatted aside by with a massive kick from a giant. He rolled across the floor with a great ruckus and clanking of his metal armor on the floor. He crashed into the wall and lay there stunned for a moment.

Rumli raised to one knee and leaned on his blade...

“Yae bastarrrrds. Yae kilt me... one troo friend,” he said, choking back tears while the giants laughed, “Prepare tae die.”

Rumli lifted himself up and charged at the giants taking them by suprise. He slung insults at the beasts and sunk his axe deep into their flesh. The giants retreated in fear from the demon they just unleashed on themselves.

Rumli screamed, growled and shouted as he methodically mowed through the ranks of the Rebel Giant Army. Crazed eyes darted out from behind his giant dwarven helm. His axe was a blur.

Then he came upon a large room. A single giant waited inside, standing on a lone platform. The giant was waiting for him.

“Yew,” panted Rumli, “Yewwwww... yew kilt me friend. Yewwww did this tae him. Yew lost me my one troo friend. Yew’ll be next tae die now, ya beast,” he said pointing his axe at the giant before him.

“HAR HAR HAR,” shouted the giant in a booming voice, “YAR! I’D LIKE TA SEE THAT, INSECT! HAR HAR HAR! YA DON’T STAND THE CHANCE AGAINST THE LIKES OF ME!”

The giant says some magic phrase and with a flip of his hand fires a bolt of hot lava at Rumli. The bolt drives him back against a wall with a great explosion. He lays dazed for a moment, gets up and shakes his head...

“Hey! Izzat all ye got! Ya waggity poof ya! Coom on! Bring it!”

The giant cries out like a frustrated school child and begins firing off spell after spell, muffing words and phrases and failing to get them all off correctly. Rumli charges and rains mighty blows with his axe into the giant.

The fight is over almost as soon as it started. The giant crumples to the ground before him. Rumli falls to his knees infront of the giant and begins to sob.

He picks himself up and heads back to his fallen friend Murin. Rumli’s chest is heaving as he chokes back tears. Rumli scoops up the lifeless corpse and walks slowly out of the camp, across the giant village, through Gracklstugh to the Halls of Laduger.

Rumli brings Murin’s body to the Priestess of Laduguer and lays his body before her.

“I... will ... remember ye... Mooorin,” he sobs, “I will fight fer yer honor. Ya ... ya are... *sob* a good good man... Murin. Please coom back...”

A voice booms from above... “Monster day is begining... Long live the Beast”

Rumli turns and screams “rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!”

He was ready to blow off a little steam. He seeks vengence for the soul of his fallen friend...

----

**“Chin up, Camper” -- An interlude...**

The Duergar sits alone at a table in the Inn just outside of Gracklstugh. Buckets of ale numbering in the dozens sit empty about him. His head is in his hands. He is sobbing...

“Oi... Moooorrinnn. Sniff. Wha hash I dun tae ya,” he sobs, “I din failshd ya. Poor pur Moorin. I dinnaeee shee tha blusted gianty tharsh. Sniffle. Moorin... Oh mooooorinn!”

The drunken Dug leans back in his chair and tumbles over. He hits the floor and passes out. His snores shake the wall of the Inn. He starts to dream.

Visions of earlier exploits dash through his head... He struck out with his pal & his mentor - Murin, a local mercenary, bodyguard and trainer. They were out for one last toss about the Halls. The visions were a blur - kobolds, bugbear, goblins and the “undeath”. Skulls were cleaved, songs were sung, gold looted. They stomped off to a gate where a ramshackle sign declared...

“reBel Giantz camp... don’t mess!”

... in clumsy, childlike handwritting.

“Har har,” the pair laughed on their way in. They looked about and saw nothin but a dark figure in a robe with a scythe. Rumli froze in fear, knees tremblin. The figure motioned to Murin.

“Nae... this kinnae be happenin again. Moorin. Nae. Dinna lissen ta him. Its a trap... NAEEEE!”

The figure motions towards Rumli and with a flick of his wrist, sends the Dug flying out of the door to the camp. Rumli sees the creature reach out and touch Murin. He crumbles into a pile of dust and bones.

“NAEEEEEEE,” screams Rumli before he whacks into the cavern wall behind, knocked unconscious.

Rumli wakes from his dream and shakes his head trying to free the cobwebs from his mind. A figure stands before him - he is all “rockity looking”. He glows with a slight silver light.

“OI! CHIN UP, CAMPER,” shouts the figure in a bellowing voice... without... moving... his lips?

“THERE’LL NONNA THA BUSINESS WIT ALL THE CRYIN N WHIMPERIN N WHAT HAVE YE NOW!”

Rumli shakes his head and wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. “I moost be dreamin still”

“NAE YA NOT BE DREAMIN... YA NAE BE HALLUCY NATIN NEITHER, LAD,” bellows the Figure, “WHAEVER IT BE I DINNAE HA THA TAYME NER THA PATIENCE FER THIS SISSY BUSINESS NOW, HEAR?”

Rumli nods.

“NOW, I KNOW YA BE ALL TOUCHED BY YA LOSS A YER GOOD FRIEND AND ALL... BOOT I DINNAE NEED YA TAYE BE ALL WHIMPERY ABOOT IT. I GOTS BIG PLANS FER YA... I SEENS YA IN THE FIELD O BATTLE.... YA GOTS SOOM GOOMPTION THERE LAD. I LIKE THA. YA DINNAE BACK DOWN. YA COOD BE TEACHIN THA LADS AND LASSES DOWN HERE IN ME HALLS A THINGER OR TWO...”

“Yer Halls,” asks a confused Rumli.

“OI... LAD... YA DINNAE KNOW WHO I BE,” says the unmoving rockity figure, arms crossed, “LADUGUER!!! I BE LADUGUER, YA GIT.”

Rumli sits up with a start and bangs his head on the table behind him.

“D’oh,” he yelps.

“NOW, AS I SAID I BEEN WARTCHIN YA. I ASK YA TA JOIN ME ELITE GUARD, THA GREYGUARD, TAE HELP DEFEND THESE HALLS A LADUGUER.”

A look of surprise crosses over the young Duergar’s face. “Ya be wantin me ta join yer Elite Guard?”

He looks around to make sure that it is indeed he that this figure is speaking to.

“AYE. YA SHOW COURAGE IN THE FIELD. YA SHOW PRIDE IN YA CLAN N PEOPLES. YA SHOWS PRIDE IN DEESE HALLS N PASSAGES. YA DINNAE TAKE NO GUFF FROM THA OUTSIDERS. YA WOULD GIVE YER LIFE TA DEFEND YER PEOPLE N THESE HALLS FROOM ATTACK.”

Rumli stands up before the figure and nods.

“AYE. SO YE ACCEPT THA RESPONSIBILITY, DE YE?”

Rumli clicks his heels and salutes Laduguer, “Aye! I accept ya appointment wit great pride and humility!”

“OI! NOON A THA FANCY TALK THERE, LAD. YA BEEN HANGIN OOT WITH ALL DEM FROOT LOOPITY FINGLER WIGGLERS AND POEM SINGERS TO MOOCH!”

Laduguer reaches out with his right hand and places it on Rumli’s chest, just above his heart. Rumli’s body starts to twitch and to smoke as he is lifted off of the ground by some magical force. He starts to black out from the pain, but before he does he hears the figure say...

“OI NOW LISSEN OOP! YA DO ME PROUD I’LL REUNITE YA WIT MOORIN. MARK ME WORD, RUMLI. MARK ME WORD....”

Rumli wakes the next morning in his bunk. His head is swallen to the size a of a cart wheel. His mouth as dry as an empty keg. He does not remember where he was or how he got here.

“Oi... me hedzzzzz... ohhhhhhhhhhh,” he moans, “I ha me tha strangest dream.”

He stands up and walks to the mirror. He looks at himself and jumps back with a shock.

On his chest where the figure touched him in his dream is a freshly branded symbol of a shield and a broken crossbow bolt. A voice booms from behind Rumli

“HAR HAR!!!!!”

Rumli spins around and sees the great rockity Laduguer sitting at the end of his bed with one bucket o’ ale in one hand and another in the other outstretched hand.

“WELCOME TAE THA CLOOB, RUMLI! OR SHALL I BE REFERIN TA YE AS ‘CAP’N’? HAR HAR!!!”

Rumli faints...

“HAR HA... er... AHEM... HAR. ROOM? RUMLI? A... ermm... HEH... AH, OH WELL. PARTY OVER I GUESS.”

----

**Ah been Diggin’ in tee Dug Mines and a Reunion, of Sorts...**

Part 1: I been diggin’ faer tha Uzbad...

  * clink* 

  * clink* 

  * wash* 

  * shuffle* *sort* 

  * clink* 

  * clink* 

The lone Dug works diligently in the mines below the Duergar City. He digs at the rocks in search of veins of copper, tinstone and iron ore. His Uzbad is needing gold and the Dug is much abliged to help his Cousin in any way he can. But first, the Uzbad insists he learn the basics of metal smelting.

Sweat pours off of the Dug’s head. His clothes and beard are matted with the dust and dirt of his efforts.

The shadows dance down there in the torchlight of the caverns.

Rumli spins, “Oi! Wha’s tha then? Bah... moost be noofin. All dis work be gittin tae me heed.”

The shadows shuffle and dance.

Rumli continues to dig. He has mastered the copper. He has mastered the Tinstone.

The shadows whisper “He is near”

“Oi? Wha? Who said tha? Wussat ye Basil,” Rumli says to the Dug miner near him.

Basil shrugs and continues digging.

Rumli rips into a vein of Iron Ore. Sparks Fly.

“What are you waiting for... go git Him!”

“Oi! Now coot tha oot! Who be playin tha tricks ‘ere,” Rumli shouts.

Basil and Lemli pause for a second, chuckle to themselves and continue digging.

“Bah... Them fighter taypes... They kinnae stand tha isolation dern here, neh,” says Lemli to Basil.

“Bah! I hurd tha! Ye joost maynd yer own business, ya hear? I dinna...”

“He is closer... go in faynd him... Coom on, neh?”

The shadows gather and motion Rumli to follow.

“Ach... tha be tha last strawr! Innat you coosin Ohlalaur? Issat you Dalamar? Tha be enoof tha fool finger wigglin! Coot it wit yer tricks an’ pranks. I goot me soom good werk tae do faer the Uz’ ‘ere!”

Lemli and Basil roll on the ground laughing at the site of Rumli threatening the iron rich rocks before him.

“Oi... tha be rich. Ee’s really lost it, neh?”

The shadows gather behind Rumli, gather up his mining gear and push him out of the cavern.

“Oi! Stop tha right now! Ya poot me down then! Ohlly! Dalamar! When I git me hands on ye...”

Rumli is brought back to his barracks. The shadows motion to his locker.

“Hurry oop then. He needs yer help. Ya goota help Him,” they say

“Aye... aye... fayne! Fayne! I’ll play along wit yer goofball games ‘n tricks faer now. This better be werth it. Rackity fragity smikit! Flim flam flarb...grumble gripe grrrrr....”

Bhror D’Gorah, Shirumund Monk and Kung Foo Expert, enters the room.

“Oi! What be all tha rakkit aboot,” he asks.

“Bah... them guys be sending me on a job a soom sort,” Rumli motions to no one.

“Righ’,” Bhror snikkers, “‘They’ sendin you soomwhar they be, neh?”

“Aye... that they be. They say tha’ ‘He needs help... He is coomin’”

“Who’s tha then?”

Rumli shrugs.

“Whar they be needin help?”

“Your answer is with the boolheads”

“They say we goota visit them boolheads. I ain’t been thar faer many a moon now. Earned me 5th braid thar I did,” Rumli says. He shows the leather braid to Bhror.

“Tha be right nice. Tha boolhead leather? Ver’ chique,” says Bhror.

“Wull, I guess I best see wha the hub bub be aboot. Them ‘shadows’ wan’me tae dance wit the boolheads, I dance wit tha boolheads then. Boot, if an’ when I faynd oot tha Ohlly or Dalamar be behind this business, thar’ll be soom ‘splainin tae do.”

Rumli marches out the door and down the Halls of Laduguer to the magik portal to Mulrok.

“OI! Ya be coomin or wha,” Rumli shouts back to Bhror.

“Aye... tha be me pleasure.”

Bhror picks up his pack and scurries past Rumli.

“Ach... ya flippin’ Shirumund Monks an’ yer flittery feet,” Rumli grumbles as he pulls his Pixie Banjo off of his shoulder too keep up with his cousin.

The two jump into the portal and are whisked away to Mulrok where they book a boat to Kabu. Bhror and Rumli hide deep in the ships belly casually rummaging through the boxes and bags down there looking for any good items to loot, eat or drink. The boat reaches rough water in the open sea.

“Oi... I dinnae care fer a boat ride,” Rumli turns pale and moans.

A dimly shimmering figure waits patiently in the corner of the hold where the two Dugs travel. He goes unnoticed by the pair.

Part 2: The Reunion

The ship arrives on the shores of Kabu. The Dugs wait until sunset to leave the boat and scurry out of the dark hold into the shadows.

“Hurry Rumli... He’s waitin’”

“Ugh... aye... aye... Coom on den, Bhror. Tha shadowy bit is impatient... oooh... Bleedin’ magix... Flippin’ boaty water rides...”

Bhror and Rumli hurry through the disorienting forrest and fields of Kabu sticking to the shadows along the way. They arrive at the canyon down to the Minotaur Territory. The rocky soild gathers and seems to be motioning to Rumli...

“He is waiting fer ya in der”

Rumli and Bhror enter the canyon. AMBUSH!

“Ach... is dis what was waitin,” Rumli whines while fighting off the savage blows of the Minotaur Chieftain.

Bhror does not say a thing as he methodically liberates the Minotaur Wigglers and Warriors of their kneecaps and vital organs. He kicks, chops and head butts his way through the mass of Bull heads. The shimmering figure watches the pair from a cliff above.

The Dugs cut through the phlanxes of Minotaurs and soon arrive at a cavern opening.

“Ere it is, then. The be tha boolhead headquarters. Me proudest moment as a warrior happen’d in dere. Tha be the cave wha where I traveled wit Col and Ohlly...”

“Hurry! He waits for you!”

“Aye aye! I get it! Tha be enoofa the silly business, Ohlly! Dal! Stoop wit tha goofiness an’ coom on oot,” Rumli shouts into the trees.

Bhror looks concerned, “Ya alreet der, Cuz? I dinnae tink tha Ohlly or Dal be round taday. I ain’t seen Ohlly in weeks!”

“Bah... Coom along. ‘They’ want me tae go in ‘ere,” Rumli disappears into the cavern, “They says I goota hoory oop then.”

Rumli motions and Bhror follows.

Rumli and Bhror hack and slash their way through the caverns. The mighty Minotaurs don’t stand a chance against Bhror’s flying fists of fury and Rumli’s axe. Taunts fly about the cavern as Rumli sinks his axe blade into the great beasts. The shimmering figure follows closely behind and nods in approval.

Bhror and Rumli arrive at the main village of the Tribe. The Minotaurs are ready for the pair and have gathered a large army which pours down the hallway towards the two dugs. The battle moves in slow motion in the onslaught that follows. The battlecries of the minotaurs and the dugs fill the air. The clink of metal on metal rings loudly. The thud of fists on flesh make a macarbe drum beat echoing through the room. The dugs slowly and methodically cut through the ranks of the minotaurs leaving no one standing. Bhror and Rumli stand atop the pile of minotaurs. They are covered head to toe with sweat, dirt and gore.

“ha HA!!!!!!!” shouts Rumli proudly.

“Good on ye,” screams Bhror.

The shimmering figure appears before Rumli.

“Go ahead then... You have earned it.”

The figure hands Rumli a blade. Rumli raises his eyebrows in surprise as he realizes that is has been Laduguer himself that has been speaking to him all this time. “Crikies.”

“Go on, neh? Ya earned it lad”

“Didja say soomptin, Rum?”

Rumli takes the blade and cuts off the horn of the minotaur chiefain.

“Ah... thar ye go. Now, I got soomone tha yer needin tae git reaquainted wit”

A noxious yellow gas floats down the hall and past Bhror and Rumli.

“Oi, Rum’... Wha? Ye inna say scuse me thar? Gag...”

“Tha winna me, Cuz,” says Rumli as he spins. All look of surprise comes over his face and he drops the blade and the horn. A figure appears from inside the soupy green cloud.

“Murin... issat... you? Moorin??”

“merrrrrrrrrrrrrbraaaaiiiiinnnnnssssssssss,” says the gaunt and ghastly Duergar spirit lumbering down the hall.

“Mooorin!! Tha IS you!”

“Har har har... I told ye ya would be a reunited with yer ol’ friend one day. Goo on then!”

“Moorin! Ya... came back!”

“meerrrrrrrrrrrrbraiinnnssssssssssss.”

Rumli approaches the spirit, arms outstretched. “ooch... ya dinnae look so good. Ya dinnae smell so good neither,” Rumli says.

“Arghh... ya kin say tha agin,” complains Bhror as he hides his nose and mouth in his monk robes, “Ya know this feller, di ye?”

“Ya... tha be me One Troo Friend in tha World. Moorin. Ya brought him back fer me, dinnya Laduguer.”

“Who? Whar? Laduguers here,” says Bhror.

“Aye... as I promised. Murin returns to fight at your side. He can only return from Valhalla for a small amount of time once a day, but he is here ta help ye when ya need tae call on him. Use this horn an he’ll return.

The minotaur’s horn rises from where Rumli dropped it. It starts to shimmer and shake.

“ya joost hootle on tha ting and He’ll come back.

“Thank ya, Laduguer. Thank you.,”

Rumli’s eyes well up. He grabs the horn from the air.

Bhror looks around for Laduguer. “Oi, ya lost it thar coosin... Ya rilly lost it!”

“Coom along Moorin... Less git ya cleaned oop, neh?”

“Aye... LETS! gag... keefff,” coughs Bhror.

“merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbraiiinnnnssssssssss”

The trio head out of the cave. The day is done.

“*sniffle* oi! I loves a happy ending”

----

**Standing on Ceremony...**

  * trumpets hoot and holler in tha Halls o’ Laduger* 
  * tha Honorary Grey Carpet is rolled down its Length* 
  * The Uzbad, Azbad and Col the Jaundiced stand on a raised platform at one end...* 
  * Uglar the Jeweler runs in late to the impending ceremony* 

“Ach, I innae late am I? Here it be Uz,” pants Ug. He hands the Uzbad a medal, still hot as it is fresh out of the mold and takes his place at the top of the platform.

  * The trumpet fanfare fades as the four on the stage take their places to either side of a throne that has been rolled out by goblin slaves. The crowd gathered to either side of the carpet grows silent.* 

  * A puff of smoke, a crack of lightning and the stink of brimstone fills the stage. A figure rises from amongst the chaos...* 

“OI!!!! LETS GIT DIS PARTY STARTED!!! TROOMPETS!!! HERNS!!!,” shouts the glowing, statuesque figure - quite literally statuesque I might add, he seems to be chiseled from granite. The figure is Laduguer himself! He takes his place on the throne.

  * The trumpet fanfare starts up again. The crowd moves to one knee and bows as a Duergar Lad dressed in his Clan’s fineries walk down the Hall. He is accompanied by a ... rotting corpse and a giant chicken?* 

  * The Dug lad is Rumli D’Gorah, Elite Grey Guard and Officer in the Army of Laduguer, Gracklstugh Division. This ceremony is for him today. He is to be awarded the rank of General.* 

  * Rumli points to the corpse and the chicken to stay. He steps up onto the platform and is greeted by the four Dugs on stage. Each embraces him and direct him to stand aside Laduguer. The Uzbad hands Laduguer the medal. Laduguer nods in appreciation.* 

“OI!!!! OI!!!!! SHADDUP WIT TEE HERNS ‘N’ FANFARES ALRIDDY,” He shouts and with a waves of His hand, the crowd goes silent, “NER, Y’ALL BE GATHERED HERE TADAE FER A SPECIAL CEREMOONY. THA BE FER THIS BRAVE LAD, ROOMLI D’GORAH, ELITE GREY GUARD! OFFICER IN ME ARMY THA BE PROTECTIN DIS TOON! THIS GRATE CITY! ME HALLS. TADAY WE HOONER HIM FAER HIS HARD WERK. HIS BRAVERY. HIS LEADERSHIP. HIS PRIDE IN HIS CLAN. HIS PEOPLES. HIS CITY. AND MOOST IMPERTANTLY... HIS LOOVE FAER ME! HAR HAR HAR! TADAY I AWARD DIS YOONG, STAND OOP LAD TEE RAND OOF GENERAL, ARMY CHIEF O’ STAFF FER THA DIVISION HERE IN GRACKLSTUGH... LET DIS HANDSOOM 4-STAR EMBLEM SO ELEGANTLY FERGED BAY OUR OUR DUG CRAFTSMEN STAND AS A SYMBOL OOF TIS RANK! ROOMLI, STEP FERWARD PLEASE.”

  * And with that, the Dug does. Laduguer pins the award onto Rumli’s chest. He smiles* 

“ACH! AIN’T THA POORTY! OI! ENOOF STANDIN OON CEREMOONY! LET TEE PARTY BEGINNNNN!”

  * Laduguer waves to Ohlahaur and Dalamar the Dug Magicians. They wiggle their hands and the room is filled with fireworks and sparkling lights. Laduguer claps his hands and Vhrawn, Samryn, and their Acolytes crash out of the Temple of Laduguer bearing casks, kegs and cases of ale, stouts, barley wines and lambics for the rocknuts, sides of beef, racks of roast fowl, and buckets of lichen stew. A cheer goes up from the crowd.* 

“Oi, Laduguer,” says Rumli quietly, “It pleases me tee be sae honored bay you. I willnae let ye doon. Ya dinnee worry tha. Tha City will be safe oonder me watch.”

  * Laduguer nods in approval* 

“Boot, I goot me oon question, or a favor if ye will,” asks Rumli nervously, “Ya see me girl Honey der,” he points to the giant purple chicken, “Seems tha she goo tree some kinnae changes dere. Any chance ya cool’ poot her back te her righ’ sexy self, neh?”

“HAR HAR HAR! YA SLAY ME, ROOM, YA SLAY ME. NOW GOO OON. GIT WIT YA. GIT TEE YE PARTY.”

  * Rumli grins uncomfortably and bows to Laduger.* 

“Coom aloong Moorin... ermm... Hooney. Lets git tee partyin’! Moorin, me ceremoonial booket please?”

Rumli grabs the bucket and races into the crowd, hootin an’ hollerin, its his day!

Huzzah for Rumli D’Gorah, General & Elite Grey Guard, Army of Laduguer, Gracklstugh Division.
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